Why I'm afraid of writing
While writing what I consider my best essay, [[The Information Platform of The Future]], I had many bouts of writer's block. One of the things that helped get through was to write down everything I was afraid of, and to go through them rationally. Here they are:
- What if nobody notices my ideas? Life goes on. You lose nothing. In fact, this means you escape criticism.
- What if I'm accused of being incompetent? But you are. Besides, you can't hope to improve without feedback.
- What if my ideas could be gauged as shallow? You aren't your ideas. Besides, you won't ever know the importance of an idea until you share it.
- I feel like it'll never end; I feel like my ideas will never connect coherently. You don't need to be perfect. If even one person understands your bull, your day will be made.
- I'm afraid of what comes after. When your dreams stop being your dreams, what's next? What if there's nothing positive out of this? You'll find a new dream, like you always do.
- I'm afraid of not being able to completely express myself Maybe that's true, but you won't get better without practicing writing.
- I'm afraid to reach out to people (I wanted to share the piece with relevant inspirational figures). Why?
- I'm afraid of being rejected. Rejection hurts, but without making the first step you can't go any further.
- I don't like not knowing—there's still so much I don't comprehend about this idea. That's what makes you human. By sharing you can learn more.
- Deep within myself, I'm afraid that when I'm done, it may come to be that all of this was futile. I feel as though spending time on this is unproductive. Better realize that sooner than later.
- A voice whispers softly: why not let it rest? Maybe you're not there yet. Maybe fate does not think you're ready. Maybe there's a missing piece. Well, maybe you won't reach the finish line today, but that's no excuse to not start. One line at a time.
In the end, I did manage to publish the post. The result?
Through the feedback, I discovered many more tools that have helped me improve my vision— so many of them that I now have to update half of my post.
Most of the people I shared the essay with responded positively, and this has opened many doors of opportunity for me.
More importantly, I feel great about having gone through the fire to the other side. Not today, writer's block.
